Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Relatives on Mars

Walt: demonstrate understanding of a number of strategies and skills for writing (for example, use of paragraphs, a range of sentence types, descriptive language, punctuation, spelling).

Relatives on Mars
By Bethan

“Did you check the fuel Edward?” asked Mekenzie. They were in rocket ship number 94-C preparing to crash land. “Uh no but I thought you did,” said Edward, Mekenzie took a glance at the fuel blinker it was... empty, Mekenzie felt this would be the end of her and Edward  but she decided to put on her helmet anyway, Edward did so to.

The 2 spaceship pilots were scared out of there minds. Mekenzie was packing some food, so just in case they survived, they would have something to eat . Suddenly they felt the feeling of what the crash of a plane might feel like. Mekenzie had planned this trip to be normal. It wasn’t going to be.

“ Wow mars is big,” said Edward looking around as he set up the shelter with his big sister. The ship had broken down but they had plenty of food, seeds and a bit of fertiliser too. They had been assigned the job to make things grow, and make a water source too. “Cannot wait till we start but we’ll have to fix the ship before 23 July 2017,” they had fallen into a space tragedy. They had to find a way to fix it.

Since Edward was the brainy boy at the mechanics, Mekenzie decided he should do the job of fixing the ship. She was the green thumb so she did the planting. They both did the water together. Every single day after they did the water source Edward would only come out of the ship either to fill his oxygen tank or to eat. Sometimes to video chat friends or family.

Edward had another go at the engine. ROAR gr gr gr gr the engine was running!! “Yahoo,” shouted Edward as he ran to his sisters room, “hey sis it's fixed the ship is fixed.” The next thing you know the ship is having a countdown and then there flying off to earth. The president of the united states was there to greet them but their parents were running out of the crowd and almost tackled them down with a hug, “home at last we're home,” said Edward, that night they celebrated with a big BBQ all the friends came over and relatives too, it was a great.

Task Description: For this task I made a copy of this doc on the class site. Then as a class we did each paragraph together. I published it onto my blog and with a complete high standard.

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