Friday, 20 March 2015

Motat trip.

Room 11&12 went to Motat on Monday  it was very exciting we left at 9:00 I talked to josh on the way i couldn't wait to get there i was also disappointed because it was drizzling with rain.Katherine our educator led us to our meeting room,after that we listened attentively  while she explained the rules to us she also told us the schedule she told us some explicit instructions.When she showed group 1 the old and new inventions I had fun on the typewriter in fact I typed on it the whole time,then I went on the quill.After that we went to the whisper dishes  it was very fun for everyone except Josh all the boys were hogging it I felt bad for Josh.For the inside Exhibitions I liked earthquake cafe and static electricity dome it had purple electricity and when I touched it it followed my hand it was in a glass orb to.I liked going to Motat because it was like i was in my own world of imagination.



Reflection


Criteria for an Effective Paragraph
Par 1
Par 2
Par 3
Par 4
Par 5
⚈ Start with a topic sentence.


⚈ Have at least 2-3 connected sentences.


⚈ Have sentences that are effective that
  1. have varied beginnings
x
x
x


    b.  have juicy vocab e.g action/describing  words


    (c) grammatically correct


  (d) punctuated correctly.


(Think of 1 or 2 things that you need to to focus on next time, to make sure your paragraphs are effective.)
Next time I  need to have sentences that are effective and have varied beginnings.   

1 comment:

  1. Well done Bethan. I really liked the way you included some interesting details about what you did at Motat. You have included some interesting juicy vocab as well which helps make your writing effective. Remember though you need to have 1 main idea for each paragraph with 2-3 sentences that connect. In your writing you have included all your ideas in 1 paragraph. Perhaps you could make that a focus as well for your next piece of writing. Also you need to check that you have a capital letter for people's names and also a capital for the word I.
    Well done though. I can't wait to see your next piece of writing.

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